The 13^th

Crack is wack. I’m sick of all of my things disappearing sequentially. Some nimble toed “rock star” made himself welcome into my bedroom whilst I in my blissful ignorance was cooking up some rice and beans in the kitchen. He helped himself to my cellular phone, which of course served only as an alarm clock these days. Two days later he must have admired my bathing suit, for that too is inexcusably absent. So it looks as if I will be reliant on ill informed roosters, whom cookadoodledoo to no regard for Greenwich Mean Time, to wake me up so that I may dive naked.

Speaking of crime, here are two laws that grant you great freedom. You are allowed to steal whatever you please. Unless there are three or more people who saw you commit the thievery. The second liberty you are given is, you may kill anyone you please. But, only as long as you are over the age of sixty. Both of these legislations are actual laws you may and must abide by. Laws that are written on the most legal of documents. This is why you can see your bike ridden all over town and not be able to do anything about it because the guy has many large associates and speaks like a pirate.

This island is very much how I imagine Hollywood is. You are walking down the street and within a few short minutes you see three celebrities. You are star struck every half a mile here because every, one in a hundred people here are a celebrity.  Not a single person outside the perimeter of this island may know them, but you know them, and you know that every single other living person who has been on the island for over a week knows them as well. In fact, they are greater than celebrities, they’re folk heros, and you can appreciate them all the more, because they have actually done something real and of value.

I was at a bar listening to some comedic guitar when Gunter sat down at the table. I hadn’t had the chance to meet him yet, but within a few minutes he made me quite aware that I had been drinking the wrong beer this whole time, and directed me to where to find, real, German, beer.

He mentioned how the sewage flows right into the sea (actually, Tranquilla bar used to flow directly to the sea, with their toilet on the top deck that you could look down into and see sea), the sewer system gets piped through the open drainage gutters and out into the bay. That is apparently why there is such high rates of staff staph infections. When the instructors preform their “confined water tests”, they are in the shallows, also known as the natural waste management facility.

I cleaned a dirty bottom today, the barnacles only bit back a bit. I was given 500 Lempira. I intend to set out to prove one can live a week here on said 500L.

Embrace the Buddhist way

And all will be okay

No more beer

Or 500 won’t last you a week here.